Before each of us was born, we all swam around in our mothers. Many of us had a parent, older sibling, or other relative teach us to swim in the neighborhood community swimming pool as children. And, most of us learned to swim through life’s problems to survive and become adults. Kudos to all us swimmers! But, what’s up with these black folks on the reality show The Amazing Race not knowing how to swim? Who cast these non-swimming people? Their being cute doctors raised by a single mom shows they’ve swam upstream against the currents of life, but couldn’t they have spared us their lack of skill in water! Surely they knew they’d have to be in water, right?
Now, I freely admit that I’m no swimmer…in the water, I mean. I never learned to swim; I don’t like the feel of wet clothing on my body; and I don’t care anything about the ocean, seeing ocean views, or crossing the ocean in any fashion. But, I’m not applying to be on a reality show that always has at least half of its tasks in or under water! Season after season, we are subjected to black folks who can’t swim, or they are such weak swimmers that they fall to last place behind all the (usually) white contestants. What’s up with that?
There is no way you can tell me that the producers of this show can’t find black people who swim as swift as dolphins. Look at all those black folks in the Snoop Dog, Ice Cube, and Dr. Dre videos. They got pool parties galore and those folks are swimming and playing polo in the water! What about all those Jamaicans and Haitians that are in this country? They grew up on islands, so you know they know how to swim, right? You mean to tell me that none of them swimming folks applied to be on this show? Instead, the producers of TAR cast twin doctors from Chicago…Chicago! Not Los Angeles or Virginia Beach or Miami or any number of cities where plenty of black folks swim! I think there might be something sinister going on here. I think those producers of TAR, and most other reality shows, select black folks who can’t perform the major, always-asked-for task so they can show how superior everyone else is to these weak performers.
Now, all y’all know I’m big on conspiracy theories, and I think the continual selection of non-swimming black contestants on TAR is a conspiracy. In my opinion, those producers want to leave their audience with the false impression that black people are somehow “less than” because they can’t swim. The other day, I heard a comedienne say that black people don’t swim because they were brought here on the bottom of the boat and not pulled behind it on a jet ski. The audience didn’t laugh, but they groaned…me, too.
That comedienne, along with the TAR producers, should know that swimming is one of those sports that black folks will slowly break through, just like they did with basketball, football, and golf. As a matter of fact, there was a black swimmer on the U.S. Olympic swim team last summer. Maybe I should send those producers the videotape of the brotha gliding through the water. Those producers at TAR need to try harder to find black people who swim as stealthily as sharks and not use the odd fish-out-of-water folks they seem to continually embrace. Do I need to make a trip out to California and school those folks? I’m just sayin….